Worst Worm Farmer EVER

worst worm farmer ever

I’m pretty sure I killed 99% of my worm community via neglect over the past month.

Worm castings (worm poop) are supposed to be great organic matter for your garden, so I asked for a worm farm two years ago for my 10-year anniversary. Yes, wedding anniversary. I’m pretty easy to please. That’s actually a lie, I’m not that easy to please. I’m a perfectionist. A lazy perfectionist. Anyway, Steve (my husband) got me the farm from some website, it included the dirt, the food, the worms, the container and a piece of burlap to cover them. Perhaps to keep them warm? To keep the soil moist? No clue.

He got me the kit, I put it together and left it in my basement on top of our non-functioning  freezer. I gave them water every week and fed them every 10 days like the instructions said. I threw on a few banana peels and other delicacies. After a few months I took half the organic matter (castings/poop) and put it in my garden. I did that twice. Then I got lazy.

My worms have died in their own filth. It was also a tad on the dry side. It’s been four months and I finally removed some of the organic soil stuff and put in some plain old soil from the yard (that I had saved from before there was two feet of snow on it). I only saw two worms  in the entire section that I moved (at least half of my farm). Before, I would have easily counted 50. The entire colony is dependent on those two worms to bring it back . It’s like my own little Jamestowne. They’ll have plenty of food that’s for sure, as there’s no competition. Plus, don’t they mate with themselves?

Anybody else have a worm farm? How often do you remove the castings?

Here’s a gross video of my worm farm when it had maggots in it. I really am the worst worm farmer ever. I guess this means  I somehow got meat or dairy in there accidentally. Or maybe it was the plethora of banana peels. Mmm.

If you dare, you can just watch the first five seconds and get the gist of it. I was too lazy to edit it. Note: This is not an indication of what kind of parent to my children I am. At least I don’t think it is. I do bathe them occasionally and our house isn’t full of literal crap, so there’s that.

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23 thoughts on “Worst Worm Farmer EVER

  1. Pingback: A Tea Party Is the Best Place for a Fart Joke | Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine

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  3. Lizzi R

    At least you now know how to raise maggots, so you could create a by-line in selling them to fishermen as bait. In another perspective, this could be seen as terribly enterprising of you…

    Reply
      1. davromega

        They use both again! They have discovered that fingers and limbs reattach easier and have less problems with infection or rejection if they let leeches feed on the ends that need to be reattached, and maggots clean out open wounds.

  4. Chrissie Klinger

    I have thought of doing a worm farm but know I would neglect it…..so I am always happy to see plump juicy worms thriving in my outdoor compost pile….versuses dying under my care in my basement…LOL!

    Reply
  5. Kim

    I’ll just take your word for it on that video. No sense in me getting my stomach heaving so early in the morning. LOL

    I never knew worm farms existed. Or, if I somehow did, must have blocked it out of my mind. They seem cool but cleaning up worm poop? Umm, no. Just…no.

    Reply
  6. davromega

    Remind me not to ask you to babysit anything that cannot indicate when it is dissatisfied! Dogs cats and upper primates would be fine but all else stay away from!

    Reply
  7. Aussa Lorens

    Somewhere out in your backyard is a separate colony of worms, whispering about the horrors that take place in your basement and using it as a cautionary tale to the baby worms so that they don’t stray too far.

    Reply

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